Why do I do this to myself? Deliberately torture myself with the hideous truth of the past. Why, why can I not live in the now and enjoy what it is now, rather than painfully keep myself locked into what once was.
I’m breaking myself down, and I have no one to blame but myself :(
Somedays you say you wanna leave. Somedays I wish you would. It would be so much easier knowing YOU hurt me.
I will be so very sad once I have to start sleeping in bed alone again. I have loved the past few months of being cuddled every night, and waking up beside him for kisses in the morning.
But I cannot deny that it will be worth the money and the change in lifestyle. I want a better future for us and our family. I am so glad we are finally here.
That feeling I’ve gotten so good at knowing. I’ve mastered being okay this way.